💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2097)
EXCUSE ME?! Meta just dumped a 405 billion parameter monster into the open so you can run it yourself instead of paying OpenAI forever
Meta released the full weights for Llama 3.1 405B, matching or beating GPT-4 on benchmarks, and the model runs locally or on cheap cloud instances without recurring API fees. The release includes the complete model checkpoint so anyone can download and host it themselves.
Who gave them PERMISSION to burn the planet so we can ask chatbots to write emails?
Researchers published a new training and inference method that cuts AI energy consumption by up to 100 times while raising accuracy on standard benchmarks. The technique replaces dense matrix multiplications with sparse, event-driven operations that only activate when needed.
EXCUSE ME?! AI Is Now Picking Your Skincare Ingredients While Companies Pocket Your Data
PMC article PMC12085869 describes AI platforms that scan active ingredients in skincare to match them against conditions like acne, hyperpigmentation, aging, and sensitivity, spitting out ingredient suggestions such as niacinamide for dark spots or hyaluronic acid for hydration. These tools analyze product formulations and user skin profiles to generate custom regimens instead of letting dermatologists or estheticians do the matching.
I Am NOT Okay With Med Spas Letting AI Snoop on Your Collagen Levels for Profit
The Timeless Med Spa NJ article explains that AI models trained on millions of past treatment results now detect patterns in collagen density, hydration levels, and sun-damage markers to build hyper-personalized med-spa plans at clinics like La Belle Vie Med Spa in Seattle. These systems replace one-size-fits-all laser or injectable menus with outcome-predicted protocols.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau Is Using Google's AI to Track 30 Body Points While Swinging a Club
Google Cloud built a deep learning system with 2D and 3D models that tracks over 30 key points on the body, club, and ball during every phase of a golf swing including top of swing, impact, follow-through, and finish. The model records the shot outcome and feeds the data back for analysis. Source is the Google Cloud Blog post on Bryson DeChambeau's AI experiments.
I Am NOT Okay With This: Premier League Teams Are Stuffing Bluetooth Sensors Into Vests to Spy on Every Heartbeat
STATSports Apex Series uses Nordic Semiconductor Bluetooth chips embedded in a lightweight vest that tracks player movement and biometrics in real time for English Premier League clubs. The data is processed on-device with edge AI before being sent to coaches. The vest has been adopted by multiple international sports organizations.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just handed Claude the mouse and keyboard and called it progress
Anthropic released the public API for Claude 3.5 Sonnet with Computer Use, letting the model move your cursor, type on your keyboard, and read your screen to perform desktop tasks. Users can now automate data entry and workflows without writing code through this new interface.
I am NOT okay with this 100x energy cut that still makes AI more accurate
Researchers published a new method that reduces AI energy consumption by up to 100 times while actually raising accuracy, directly attacking the massive power draw that current large models require. The approach targets the core computation process rather than just hardware tweaks.
EXCUSE ME?! HubSpot is telling us to hand our SEO to AI now, and I want to know who gave them PERMISSION?!
HubSpot's blog explains that probabilistic AI tools work best for ideation and exploration tasks because they generate varied answers, while repetitive tasks like site crawls, rank tracking, schema validation, and broken link checks should stay automated with verifiable outputs. The advice pushes marketers to split their SEO workflow between AI for creative angles and deterministic tools for checks that must be accurate every time.
I am NOT okay with Jasper selling AI agents that supposedly run entire marketing departments while we foot the bill!
Jasper launched a library of purpose-built agents for SEO and GEO content, campaign execution, email, social media, personalization, and research that automatically apply your brand context and run complete end-to-end workflows instead of single outputs. The agents promise to handle repetitive marketing jobs without constant human prompting.
EXCUSE ME?! Who gave these AI skincare bots PERMISSION to snoop through your product ingredients and decide what your face needs?!
The PMC article describes AI platforms that scan active ingredients in skincare formulas, then match them to conditions like acne, hyperpigmentation, aging, and sensitivity. One example tool recommends niacinamide for dark spots or hyaluronic acid for dryness based on those scans.
This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of: AI now staring at your collagen levels and sun damage to sell you more med-spa procedures!
Timeless Med Spa NJ reports that AI models trained on millions of past treatment results now read collagen density, hydration scores, and UV patterns to build custom plans at places like La Belle Vie Med Spa in Seattle.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau is letting Google Cloud's AI film every inch of his golf swing and I am NOT okay with this
Bryson DeChambeau is using Google Cloud's deep learning system with proprietary 2D and 3D models that track over 30 body, club, and ball points through top of swing, impact, follow-through, and finish phases, then logs the exact outcome of each shot.
Who gave Greenside AI permission to run swing analysis on my iPhone's Neural Engine without internet and call it coaching?!
Greenside AI runs entirely on the iPhone's built-in GPUs and Neural Engine to measure biomechanical swing elements offline, then applies predictive modeling to flag problem areas in your motion.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just gave Claude 3.5 Sonnet the keys to your entire computer without asking the rest of us
Claude 3.5 Sonnet public beta now lets the model grab your mouse and keyboard to fill forms, edit spreadsheets, and run desktop tasks that used to need custom scripts. Users sign up through the Anthropic API console, enable computer-use mode, and the model executes actions on their actual screen in real time.
Who gave Mistral PERMISSION to drop a 123-billion-parameter model you can run at home for free?
Mistral released the full weights of its 123B Large 2 model under an open license so anyone can download and run it locally or on cheap cloud GPUs. The model matches or beats GPT-4 on standard benchmarks without sending prompts to any corporate server.
EXCUSE ME?! SurferSEO just dropped an AI editor that spies on top pages and rewrites your content in real time while you type
SurferSEO's new AI Content Editor scans the current top-ranking pages for your target keywords, then pushes live suggestions to boost search intent match and E-E-A-T signals without forcing users to do separate keyword research. The tool updates its recommendations instantly as you edit so marketers see score changes while they work.
I am NOT okay with Jasper AI now sucking your actual Google Search Console numbers straight into its content platform
Jasper added a direct Google Search Console integration that imports impressions, clicks, and average position data for any verified property so users can see which queries are already ranking but underperforming. The platform then auto-generates content briefs that target those exact low-CTR queries without requiring marketers to export CSV files first.
EXCUSE ME?! Who gave Silicon Valley permission to analyze my skincare ingredients with their AI and call it personalized?
PMC article PMC12085869 shows AI tools scanning active compounds in products to match acne, hyperpigmentation, aging, or sensitivity concerns, spitting out ingredient suggestions such as niacinamide or hyaluronic acid. The systems run ingredient databases through machine learning models that rate effectiveness percentages for each skin issue.
I am NOT okay with another free AI mole checker harvesting photos of my face for some wellness med-spa database!
ScanSkinAI at scanskinai.com lets users upload skin photos for AI-powered mole and longevity screening, then pushes paid expert consultations and long-term tracking subscriptions. Their marketing promises a complete skin health toolkit combining automated screening with human follow-ups.