💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2097)
Oh, NOW They Want Us to Believe AI Won't Destroy Small Businesses?! 'Balance' MY FOOT — Show Me the Contracts!
Kiplinger published advice for small business owners on using AI to grow their company for a profitable exit WITHOUT abandoning employee loyalty or retirement planning. The piece pushes the idea that you can 'leverage' AI to 'elevate' your people while maximizing your final payout. I am NOT okay with this framing — since when does 'leverage' help anyone but the person holding the lever?
EXCUSE ME?! Google Is Now Letting AI AGENTS Run Search Ads in India and I Want to Know WHO GAVE THEM PERMISSION?!
Google launched an AI agent within Search ads in India, expanding Gemini-powered ad tools. This is Google, one of the most dominant players in digital advertising alongside Meta, now betting on AI agents to power advertising campaigns. My nephew warned me about this. They are literally handing over ad decisions to machines without asking ANY of us if we want this.
I Want a REFUND on the Future! Google Just Launched YouTube BrandStack AND More Gemini Ad Tools in India Like We Asked for This!
Google launched YouTube BrandStack, an AI-powered advertising solution that was BUILT IN INDIA, at Google Marketing Live India 2026. The company also introduced new Gemini-powered tools for Search ads, creator partnerships, and AI-driven marketing automation to help businesses improve campaigns. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of, another layer of black-box AI between your money and your results.
EXCUSE ME?! Now AI is STARES at your face and tells you what's wrong with it?! I am NOT okay with this!
Some company wants med spas to use AI-powered skin analysis platforms during consultations. The tool supposedly gives instant, accurate skin assessments. My nephew warned me about this — now machines are judging our pores instead of actual dermatologists with actual medical degrees?!
They want ROBOTS planning your BOTOX now?! I want a REFUND on the future!
Practitioners on X are sharing how AI tools are helping plan injectable treatments with greater precision in aesthetics clinics. So now we're letting algorithms decide where to stick needles in people's faces?! This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of — some app drawing lines on your face and calling it medicine!
EXCUSE ME?! Tiger Woods Gets $10M Richer While His Golf 'Career' Is FROZEN and Some Tech Bro Sells His Toy for HALF A BILLION?!
Full Swing, Tiger Woods' TGL partner, is being sold for $530 million, which puts $10 million directly in Woods' pocket. Full Swing CEO Ryan Dotters crowed that this gives them 'scale and distribution' to shove their technology at more golfers and fans. This is Versant Media Group's THIRD major acquisition this year, because apparently one golf tech empire wasn't enough for them.
I Want a REFUND on the Future! Versant Is Buying ALL of Golf Tech Now and Nobody Asked If WE Wanted This!
Versant Media Group plans to acquire Full Swing for $530 million, continuing its golf technology consolidation spree. The New York Times has games, Disney has theme parks, and now Versant has decided it owns GOLF as a media vertical. This is being framed as normal business evolution, but I am NOT okay with one company controlling this much of how a sport gets packaged and sold back to us.
EXCUSE ME?! Now They're Letting Anybody Build GAMES With a Sentence?! My Nephew Warned Me About This
Rosebud AI is a browser-based tool that generates playable games from text prompts. A PCWorld writer tested it by typing descriptions and getting functional games back without coding. The tool runs entirely in the browser, no downloads required.
I Want a REFUND on the Future: 9 MILLION People Downloaded This 'Private' AI Tool and Silicon Valley Just Cashed In for $65 MILLION
Ollama raised $65 million in funding and grew to nearly 9 million users. The open source tool has accumulated 176,000 GitHub stars and nearly 17,000 forks by letting developers run AI models locally on their own PCs instead of cloud services. Benchmark led the funding round.
EXCUSE ME?! They're FINALLY admitting AI is an energy vampire and THIS is their fix?!
Subquadratic developed a new AI architecture that slashes computing power needs, which means LESS electricity, LESS heat, and FEWER chips crammed into already-overheating data centers. This is supposedly the 'greatest breakthrough for the future of AI' — not because it's smarter, but because it doesn't guzzle resources like a monster truck in a drought.
72 HOURS of AI announcements and I am SUPPOSED to keep up with THIS?! WHO gave them PERMISSION to dump this on us?!
OpenAI, Meta, and xAI's Grok all dropped new products in a three-day frenzy, according to Business Insider. OpenAI announced a new model, Meta pushed AI updates, and Grok had its own reveal — it's a DELUGE and nobody asked if we even WANTED this fire hose of half-finished experiments.
EXCUSE ME?! Now We Need SIDE HUSTLES Because Wages Can't Keep Up?! I Want a REFUND on the Future
Wage growth is slowing and Australians are being told to just... work MORE. The Brisbane Times put out a five-step guide for turning side hustles into 'cold hard cash' because apparently one job isn't enough anymore. My nephew warned me about this.
Oh PERFECT, Now There's a 9-PART SERIES to Teach Small Businesses How to Not Get Crushed by AI. Who Gave Them PERMISSION to Make This Necessary?!
Deborah Deras, an AI educator and leadership consultant, is running a nine-part training series for Ventura County small business owners. It's supposed to teach them to 'save time, attract more customers, and increase revenue' using AI tools. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of: now you need a NINE PART CLASS just to keep your own business alive.
EXCUSE ME?! Your 'AI Visibility Ranking' Is Literally Made of Statistical Noise and They STILL Want You to Pay for It
New research shows AI visibility rankings shift wildly between runs, meaning a single reading is MOSTLY NOISE. You need multiple samples just to get anything resembling a real number, and NOBODY told you this before they started selling dashboards. My nephew warned me about this.
Profound Builds an AI Search Ad Measurement Framework Because NOBODY ELSE BOTHERED to Prove This Stuff Actually Works
Profound launched an early measurement framework for AI search advertising because the platforms themselves won't show their work. Meanwhile 62% of marketers are already scrambling to improve crawlability for AI search tools with ZERO proof any of this spending matters. Who gave them PERMISSION to take our money on a maybe?!
EXCUSE ME?! Puncture Robotic Wants a Robot to Restore Your Hair at WCHR 2026 and We Are Just Supposed to Say THANK YOU?!
Puncture Robotic marched into WCHR 2026 to showcase an AI-powered hair restoration system like anyone asked for machines to start colonizing our scalps. They are bragging that artificial intelligence is reshaping medical aesthetics and transforming hair restoration, which is EXACTLY what I was afraid of.
Who Gave Them PERMISSION to Scan My Face and Replace a Real Esthetician with a Robot?! I Am NOT Okay with This!
Viblo.asia published a piece pushing AI skin analysis as the only legitimate way to choose skincare, insulting everyone who ever used their own eyes or asked a friend. They claim algorithms beat guessing your skin type based on influencers or what smelled nice at the store, but all I see is another excuse to harvest your face data.
EXCUSE ME?! Now They're Putting AI in GOLF?! I Want a REFUND on the Future
Machine learning is being shoved into golf launch monitors to predict ball flight. The source gives NO specifics on which monitors, which companies, what accuracy improvement, or even what ML techniques. Just vague promises about better predictions. My nephew warned me about this.
Who Gave Them PERMISSION to Put Sickness Detectors on My WRIST?! I am NOT Okay With This
Engadget reports that smartwatches with AI can detect early illness by flagging deviations from your personal baseline patterns: heart rate variability, sleep, temperature, activity levels. The outliers do NOT diagnose anything; they merely suggest you might want to bother your actual doctor.
EXCUSE ME?! Now We're Pretending AI Is Our BOSS?! Virtual 'Board of Directors' My Foot
This WRDW 'What the Tech' segment wants you to build MULTIPLE AI personas inside your chatbot so they can ARGUE with each other about your life decisions. You set up fake experts with different viewpoints, corporate, creative, skeptical, and make them debate your question before giving you a final answer. My nephew warned me about this. Now we're not just talking to one robot, we're running a whole SIMULATION of people who don't exist?