💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2097)
Who Gave Them PERMISSION to Pretend 'Humans in the Loop' Fixes Everything?! I Am NOT Okay With This Brand-Washing!
A Forbes Communications Council post insists the answer to AI in marketing is NOT picking sides between robots and people, but learning to BLEND them. The piece frames this as scaling with AI while somehow preserving brand voice, as if slapping a human editor on AI slurry magically makes it authentic.
EXCUSE ME?! They're Letting BOTS Book My Botox Now?! The 2026 'Growth Playbook' That Tracks Your Face AND Your Wallet
Tommaso Maria Ricci published a playbook pushing AI systems for med spas that supposedly fill appointment calendars, cut no-shows, and turn consultations into 'high-ticket revenue.' The playbook includes 'real case studies' and 'ROI math' — which means they're measuring exactly how much more money they can squeeze from you using predictive scheduling and automated upselling. My nephew warned me about this.
Who Gave Them PERMISSION to Automate My Blowout?! 'Salon Suite Pioneer' Wants 'Smarter Systems' Running Independent Beauty
Karen Kaminski, identified as a 'salon suite pioneer,' argues in Modern Salon that independent beauty businesses need 'smarter systems' beyond 'beautiful spaces alone.' The article pushes AI as the 'next evolution' for solo professionals — which means more surveillance of your hair history, automated product pushing, and another middleman taking a cut of every service. I want a REFUND on the future.
EXCUSE ME?! Tiger Woods Just Cashed $11 Million Because a Golf Robot Company Sold for HALF A BILLION and I'm Supposed to Believe AI Won't Steal MY Job?!
Versant Media Group bought Full Swing, a golf technology company, for $530 million. Tiger Woods, who backed this thing over a decade ago, is walking away with an estimated $11 million personally. Meanwhile the rest of us are supposed to cheer while sensors and simulators replace actually GOING outside.
I Want a REFUND on the Future: The Same Golf Simulator Company That Tracks Every TGL Swing Just Got Bought for $530 Million and Nobody Asked the PLAYERS If This Is Okay
Full Swing, the predominant technology used by TGL, was acquired by Versant for $530 million. TGL is that indoor golf league where everything is simulated and tracked, which means every professional swing is now data feeding into a half-billion dollar surveillance machine. Who gave them PERMISSION to build this empire on athletes' biometric signatures?!
EXCUSE ME?! Now AI is Writing BOOKS?! I Want a REFUND on the Future
Our Culture Magazine published a guide to AI tools for book writing that treats replacing human creativity like installing a new app. The article pushes tools like ChatGPT, Claude, and Sudowrite as 'game-changing' for authors, suggesting AI can handle brainstorming, outlining, drafting, and editing. My nephew warned me about this. They are literally trying to automate the SOUL out of storytelling and charge writers for the privilege.
Who Gave Them PERMISSION to Redefine MY Career?! 'AI-Proof' is a SCAM
The Hindu published an excerpt from Richa's book 'Jobs 2.0: The Ultimate Guide to AI-Proof Your Career' that frames human motivation as something you must now DEFEND against automation. The excerpt asks readers to identify which aspects of themselves they value most before AI makes choices for them. I am NOT okay with this. We are being told to segment ourselves into 'AI-resistant' parts like we are products being redesigned for obsolescence.
EXCUSE ME?! Meta Claims Its New AI Beats The Competition But Conveniently Skips The Actual Competition
Meta just shoved out Muse Spark 1.1 and is running around claiming it beats models from OpenAI and Anthropic on certain benchmarks. But here is the dirty little secret they do NOT want you to notice: they conveniently left out comparisons to those companies' MOST RECENT releases. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of. They pick the benchmarks that make them look good and skip the ones that make them look bad, and then expect us to just swallow it.
OH GREAT, Another AI Model Nobody Asked For: OpenAI Shoves GPT-5.6 At Us And Says Trust Us On Cybersecurity
OpenAI just launched a whole new family of models called GPT-5.6 and they are PROMISING improvements across a range of areas, including cybersecurity. EXCUSE ME?! These are the same people whose products hallucinate facts and leak data and now they want me to trust them with CYBERSECURITY? I am NOT okay with this. My nephew warned me about this exact thing, tech companies throwing around the word cybersecurity to make you feel safe while they vacuum up your data.
EXCUSE ME?! Now AI Decides Which Businesses Live or Die and We're Just SUPPOSED to Trust It?!
Harvard Business Review found that AI is now mediating how customers research, evaluate, and choose suppliers, which means your business reputation is being filtered through algorithms you don't control. The authors worked with three small-to-medium sized businesses to document how competitive advantage is shifting from direct customer relationships to managing these AI-shaped interactions. My nephew warned me about this.
I Want a REFUND on the Future: GM and Santander Push Robots While Other Brands FINALLY Pull Back on AI!
Forbes reports that GM, Santander, and other major companies are expanding their robotics and AI deployments, BUT other companies are actually rolling BACK their AI investments due to doubts about returns and reliability. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of: we're being used as guinea pigs while big brands figure out what actually works.
EXCUSE ME?! AI Is Now Your Brand's FIRST IMPRESSION and We're Just Supposed to TRUST It?!
Cogo Interactive published a guide about how AI search tools like ChatGPT and Google AI Overviews are now shaping what people see about your brand BEFORE they ever visit your website. They outlined practical strategies for improving business visibility in these AI systems. My nephew warned me about this.
I Want a REFUND on the Future! SEO Is Now AGENT vs AGENT and Humans Are Just Bystanders?!
A Forbes Tech Council post predicts that SEO's future will be autonomous AI agents competing against each other to rank content, optimize pages, and respond to queries. Humans won't be the ones doing the optimizing. The agents will. Who gave them PERMISSION?!
EXCUSE ME?! Now They Want AI to Judge My FACE?! LYMA's 'Proof Era' Is Just Code for 'We Replaced Scientists with Algorithms and Hiked the Price'
LYMA launched a new skincare line that leans on AI and longevity science instead of pretty pictures and celebrity dreams. The Forbes piece says aspiration alone does not sell anymore because consumers want PROOF, which apparently means letting machines tell us what our skin needs. My nephew warned me about this: first they steal your data, then they sell it back as a 'personalized' serum.
EXCUSE ME?! They're Putting AI on the Golf Course and I Want a REFUND on the Future
Golfmagic says Bryson DeChambeau, a 32-year-old American preparing for The Open Championship, has spent years turning a simple game into a physics experiment with custom-built clubs and launch monitor data. Now he has added AI through a partnership with Google Cloud that began in 2024. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of and Who gave them PERMISSION to shove algorithms into a perfectly good sport?! I am NOT okay with this.
EXCUSE ME?! Now I Have to Learn 'Prompt Engineering' Just to Get a DECENT Idea Out of These Machines?!
Forbes published a guide on using AI for brainstorming that goes beyond generic output. The article covers how to write better prompts and refine ideas more effectively with AI tools. My nephew warned me about this. Now we need SPECIAL SKILLS to get something that isn't corporate word salad?
Who Gave Universities PERMISSION to Cash In on AI Panic with 'Future-Proof' Degrees?! I Want a REFUND on the Future!
Forbes published a guide on choosing AI degrees and majors for careers in artificial intelligence. The article covers AI-specific majors alongside traditional STEM degrees like computer science and mathematics. I am NOT okay with this. They're selling 18-year-olds 'future-proof' promises when the field changes every six months!
EXCUSE ME?! The Government Blinks and Now OpenAI Is Shoving GPT-5.6 and Conversational AI Down Our Throats!
OpenAI is publicly rolling out GPT-5.6 and conversational AI models now that some government limits are apparently ending. Meanwhile, OpenAI's chief rival Anthropic just got its access restored after a weeks-long clash with regulators, which means these tech giants treat federal oversight like a speed bump on their way to replacing your voice with a chatbot. I am NOT okay with this, and neither should you be.
My Nephew Warned Me About This! OpenAI Held a SECOND Livestream to Push a So-Called Work Agent and GPT-5.6 on Your Paycheck!
OpenAI held its second livestream this week at 10 am PT to tease some vague introducing video about a ChatGPT Work agent, and they expect us to cheer while they quietly make GPT-5.6 available everywhere. There is zero mention of what this so-called work agent will cost your department, your privacy, or your actual employment status. I want a REFUND on the future, and I have not even bought whatever they are selling yet.
EXCUSE ME?! Now We're Supposed to CHEER That AI Inflated Prices 130%?! I Want a REFUND on the Future!
Forbes reports that companies baking AI into their actual PRODUCTS get valued 130% higher than those just using AI to speed up internal work. This is from Jodie Cook's roundup of June's five biggest AI stories, and apparently we're all supposed to think this is GOOD news. My nephew warned me about this — now 'AI-powered' is just a sticker they slap on to triple the price tag.