💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2097)
Who gave Meta PERMISSION to dump a 405 billion parameter model on the world for free?
Meta released Llama 3.1 405B as fully open weights, matching or exceeding closed models like GPT-4 on multiple academic benchmarks while running on local hardware or affordable cloud instances. Developers can download the complete model files and fine-tune them without paying per-token API fees or hitting usage caps. The release includes the full 405B parameter weights plus smaller 70B and 8B variants.
EXCUSE ME?! Who gave med spas permission to scan your entire future face with AI before you even sit in the chair?
Aura’s simulation technology lets practitioners upload your photo and digitally model dermal fillers or facial balancing changes so patients see predicted outcomes before any needle touches skin. The system runs longevity diagnostics alongside the visual mockups in a New York City med spa covered by Forbes on March 18, 2026.
I am NOT okay with another free AI tool scraping photos of my moles and promising skin longevity scores.
ScanSkinAI runs an AI mole checker that screens uploaded images for irregularities, then bundles the results into expert consultations and long-term tracking inside one dashboard. The platform markets itself as a complete skin health toolkit combining automated screening with ongoing monitoring.
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau just spent eight figures on Sportsbox AI so Silicon Valley can track your every golf swing
Bryson DeChambeau and investors bought Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed eight-figure sum in April. The app uses 3D motion-capture to turn your phone video into a digital avatar that measures your swing angles and club path. CNN Business reported the deal on June 5, 2026.
I am NOT okay with Greenside AI turning my iPhone into a spy that grades my golf swing with no internet
Greenside AI runs entirely on the iPhone's GPU and Neural Engine to analyze swing biomechanics without needing internet. The app then applies predictive modeling to identify problem areas in your swing after it measures angles and timing. Their site at greenside.ai promotes the offline capability as a selling point.
EXCUSE ME?! Anthropic just handed Claude 3.5 Sonnet the keys to your entire computer through a public API
Anthropic released Claude 3.5 Sonnet with a Computer Use API that lets the model control mouse movements, click buttons, type text, and navigate desktop applications. Solo developers and small teams can now build agents that fill web forms, use Excel, and complete multi-step tasks without writing custom code for each interaction. The API is live at https://www.anthropic.com/news/3-5-models-and-computer-use.
I am NOT okay with this: Meta dropped a 405-billion-parameter open-source model that actually matches GPT-4 performance
Meta released Llama 3.1 405B, a fully open 405-billion-parameter model that runs on consumer-grade hardware clusters and matches GPT-4 level performance on many benchmarks. Independent developers and small businesses can now download, fine-tune, and run the model locally or on cheap cloud instances without paying per-token API fees. Details at https://ai.meta.com/blog/meta-llama-3-1/.
EXCUSE ME?! HubSpot Is Now Training AI Agents On Your Private Data So It Can Appear In ChatGPT Answers
HubSpot Breeze builds agents trained on your company data to automate workflows and push your brand into AI answers from ChatGPT and Gemini while tracking visibility. The same system instantly turns one piece of content into emails, social posts, and blogs. Source: https://www.hubspot.com/products/artificial-intelligence
I Am NOT Okay With Jasper Building AI Pipelines That Replace Entire Marketing Teams
Jasper Content Pipelines connect your data, strategy, and creative process into one automated system that produces on-brand assets from idea through publication. The platform removes the manual steps between research, writing, and distribution. Source: https://www.jasper.ai/
EXCUSE ME?! This Med Spa Is Using AI To Simulate Your Face Like Some Silicon Valley Experiment
Aura's simulation technology lets practitioners model aesthetic adjustments for treatments like dermal fillers and facial balancing by digitally showing what subtle changes might look like on the patient. The system is part of an AI-powered med spa in NYC that combines longevity diagnostics with these visual simulations. Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/coreincarter/2026/03/18/inside-the-ai-powered-med-spa-bringing-longevity-diagnostics-to-nyc/
I Am NOT Okay With This: Another AI Tool Wants To Scan Your Skin And Track You Forever
ScanSkinAI offers a free AI mole checker that provides AI-powered screening, expert consultations, and long-term tracking as part of a complete skin health toolkit. The platform uses AI to analyze moles and skin conditions while storing your data over time. Source: https://www.scanskinai.com/ai-skin-longevity-checker
EXCUSE ME?! Bryson DeChambeau just dropped an 8-figure sum on Sportsbox AI to turn your golf swing into a 3D motion-capture avatar and I want a REFUND on this future!
In April, two-time US Open winner Bryson DeChambeau led investors in acquiring Sportsbox AI for an undisclosed eight-figure sum. The 3D Golf app creates a motion-capture avatar of a user swinging to analyze their mechanics. The deal targets the multibillion-dollar golf equipment market by layering AI on top of existing swing data.
I am NOT okay with Greenside AI using my iPhone's Neural Engine to dissect my golf swing without internet and then predict my next move!
Greenside AI runs entirely on the iPhone's GPUs and Neural Engine so swing analysis works offline anywhere in the world. The app measures biomechanical elements of your swing then applies predictive modeling to identify flaws and suggest fixes. All processing stays on-device with no cloud upload required.
EXCUSE ME?! Penn Researchers Built a Hybrid Particle That Could Torch Your Energy Bill While Speeding Up AI
Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania created a hybrid light-matter particle, called a polariton, that combines photons and excitons to process AI computations. The method uses far less electricity than traditional silicon chips and aims to handle matrix multiplications at much higher speeds. Tests showed the approach cut energy use dramatically while maintaining computational accuracy.
Who Gave Sony PERMISSION to Build a Robot That Can Beat Pro Athletes?!
Sony AI unveiled Ace, an autonomous robotic system published in Nature that uses advanced sensors and reinforcement learning to outperform professional athletes in dynamic tasks. The system combines real-time vision, force feedback, and policy-gradient training to adapt in milliseconds. It achieved higher success rates than human experts across multiple athletic benchmarks.
EXCUSE ME?! Semrush is charging you to track how AI is erasing your brand from search results?!
Semrush launched its AI Visibility Toolkit that scans your brand mentions across ChatGPT, SearchGPT, Gemini, and Perplexity. Figma AI lets users type prompts to auto-generate website designs without designers. The source article from behindrankings.com details these 2026 marketing tools.
I am NOT okay with HubSpot training AI agents on your private customer data to automate everything?!
HubSpot Breeze creates AI agents trained on your company data to handle marketing, sales, and service workflows automatically. It also tracks your brand visibility in ChatGPT and Gemini while repurposing content into emails, social posts, and blogs. The product page at hubspot.com/products/artificial-intelligence lists these automation features.
EXCUSE ME?! Another AI Mole Scanner Wants Your Face for 'Skin Longevity'?
ScanSkinAI's AI mole checker scans your skin photos for signs of aging and damage, then connects you to expert consultations and tracks changes over time. The tool uses AI-powered image analysis to build a complete skin health toolkit with long-term monitoring features.
I Am NOT Okay With RoC Turning My Selfie Into an 'AI Skin Score'!
RoC AI Skin Insight uses advanced AI analysis on your selfie to calculate skin age and generate skin score metrics that get mapped directly onto the photo. The system measures visible signs of aging and produces a numerical skin score for comparison.
EXCUSE ME?! Who Gave WHOOP Permission to Turn Athletes Into Walking Data Mines Worth $3.6 Billion?!
WHOOP raised $200 million at a $3.6 billion valuation in 2021 with backing from Kevin Durant and Patrick Mahomes while WSC Sports reports that team owners and venture capitalists are pouring money into AI coaching tech that monitors elite performance through wearables. The system collects biometric data from straps and interprets it with AI models instead of relying on human coaches alone. This replaces traditional training decisions with algorithm outputs that claim to optimize recovery and performance.