💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2097)
Who Gave Claude PERMISSION to Be My Editor?! AI SEO Now Demands Specifics and I Am NOT Okay With This
Search Engine Journal reports that AI SEO prioritizing specific content may be the key to getting cited by AI search engines like Anthropic's Claude. My nephew warned me about this: we are now writing to please robots instead of humans, and I am NOT okay with it.
EXCUSE ME?! Now They're Automating MED SPAS? I Want to Speak to the Manager of Silicon Valley
Pabau is pushing AI to automate med spa marketing with chatbots, email campaigns, and ad targeting so practices can book more clients while cutting admin work. They're basically replacing human connection with robot spam and calling it 'growth.'
Treatment Stacking to TPE?! They're INVENTING Buzzwords Now and I'm Supposed to Trust Them With MY Face?!
Vogue reports that the aesthetic industry is racing toward more advanced, preventative aging approaches, with 'treatment stacking' and something called TPE being positioned as potential breakthroughs. It's all buzzwords and NOBODY is explaining what actually WORKS versus what just costs more.
EXCUSE ME?! Now They're Replacing GOLF COMMENTATORS With AI?! I Want a REFUND on the Future!
The 2026 New Mexico Open at Turtleback Mountain Golf & Resort, running September 13-16, will feature a so-called "groundbreaking AI commentator" alongside a nationally recognized broadcast team with live multi-platform coverage. My nephew warned me about this. Now they're coming for SPORTS BROADCASTING, and I am NOT okay with this.
A Milwaukee Start-Up Is Putting AI CAMERAS on Basketball Hoops and I Am DISGUSTED by Where This Leads!
Huupe, a Milwaukee sports technology company, has created AI-powered cameras that attach to any basketball hoop to turn it into a "smart hoop." The system tracks shots, analyzes performance, and collects data on players without any clear explanation of where that footage GOES or who can ACCESS it. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of.
EXCUSE ME?! Now we're supposed to be GRATEFUL that apps finally work on our PHONES?!
Some XDA-Developers writer claims four AI apps save them 20 hours weekly on Android. Cal AI does calorie tracking with AI. The whole pitch is that 2026 is suddenly the year phones become 'more useful than ever' because we 'finally' have better control, as if we haven't been held hostage by terrible mobile software for a DECADE.
Who gave them PERMISSION to sell me 'free' tools that harvest my data while I learn?!
AI Success Lab Blog pushes a 'free community' with a course, tools, and over 1,000 done-for-you AI agents as the best free starting point for beginners. They want 2026 to be your year to 'make money' with AI while they build their mailing list and who KNOWS what else with your information.
EXCUSE ME?! Claude Can Now CLICK AND TYPE FOR YOU and We're Supposed to Just TRUST That?!
Anthropic launched Claude 3.5 Sonnet with a feature called "computer use" where the AI can literally control your mouse and keyboard to fill out forms, edit spreadsheets, and automate tasks. They're pitching this to solo users and small businesses as a way to skip hiring actual humans or developers. My nephew warned me about this.
I Want a REFUND on the Future: Some Researcher Poisoned an AI Model for UNDER $100 and You're Telling Me This Is FINE?!
Security researcher Katie Paxton-Fear and her Semgrep colleagues Isaac Evans and Cris Thomas demonstrated that you can poison an open-weight AI model with just TEN training examples for under $100. They found that BIGGER models were actually EASIER to poison, which is the OPPOSITE of what these tech bros promised us about scale making things safer. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of.
EXCUSE ME?! Some guy is making $8K a month selling FAKE robot pictures while REAL photographers starve?! I want a REFUND on the future.
An Etsy seller claims he's pulling in $8,000 every single month by spamming Midjourney and Flux-generated images into stock photo batches. Six months of this and he's supposedly raking it in while actual artists who went to school for this get NOTHING. My nephew warned me about this.
The Independent finally admits small businesses are gambling on AI, but WHO GAVE THESE COMPANIES PERMISSION to turn every mom-and-pop shop into a beta test?!
The Independent reports that AI is supposedly 'democratising access' to capabilities that used to belong to big corporations with big budgets. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of: they're not asking if this actually WORKS for regular people, just shoving it out there and calling it empowerment.
EXCUSE ME?! Now We Need a WHOLE NEW DEPARTMENT Just to Beg ChatGPT to Notice Us?!
Enterprise teams are now scrambling to buy GEO (Generative Engine Optimization) platforms because buyers are getting answers straight from ChatGPT and Perplexity instead of bothering with search engines. A whole new measurement category has emerged just to track whether these AI overlords deign to mention your brand. My nephew warned me about this. I am NOT okay with this.
68% of Google Searches Now END WITHOUT A CLICK and I Want a REFUND on the Future!
Nearly SEVEN OUT OF TEN Google searches in South Africa now end in 'Zero Click' because people get answers from Google's AI Overviews, ChatGPT, CoPilot, and Claude without ever visiting a single website. South African companies are losing traffic they PAID FOR with their own content and expertise. Who gave Google PERMISSION to use everyone's hard work to keep visitors on THEIR platform?!
Demi Moore's Face Is 63 and Now My Wrinkles Are SUPPOSED to Feel Inadequate?! Lancome's AI Skin Scanner Says I'm 'Biologically Older' Than My Birth Certificate and I Want to Speak to the Manager of TIME ITSELF
Lancome's Cell BioPrint device uses AI to analyze your skin and calculate its 'biological age' versus your actual age. Good Housekeeping tested the Absolue Longevity MD cream alongside this scanner, which examines factors like collagen levels and cellular health to spit out a number designed to make you panic-buy $400 face goop. Demi Moore, age 63, apparently loves this system, because Hollywood has NEVER met a pseudoscientific vanity metric it didn't worship.
Med Spas Are Building Fake Luxury Traps With Real Medical DANGER and I Am NOT Okay With This! Who Gave These Instagram Boutiques Permission to Shoot Botox in a Room That Just LOOKS Like a Doctor's Office?!
Forbes Business Council reports that med spas are deliberately using high-end interior design, marble countertops, and luxury branding to conceal dangerously substandard medical practices. These facilities exploit the gap between cosmetic appearance and actual healthcare regulation, hiring staff without proper medical credentials while charging premium prices for procedures that can cause permanent damage. The 'wild west' framing is EXACTLY right because there is NO sheriff and YOUR FACE is the casualty.
EXCUSE ME?! They're Putting a ROBOT on Golf TV Now?! Duff Foreman Is NOT Welcome in My Living Room!
Duff Foreman, an autonomous AI personality, will appear live on-screen during the streaming broadcast of this year's New Mexico Open and INTERACT with human hosts. This is NOT a prerecorded voiceover, this is an AI they're letting loose on LIVE TELEVISION to pretend to be a person. My nephew warned me about this.
I Want a REFUND on the Future! GolfBuddy Shot Mate Is 'Cheaper' But Who's Paying With Our DATA?!
Golf Monthly's Conor Keenan tested the GolfBuddy Shot Mate, a new portable launch monitor positioned at the cheaper end of the market. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of, more sensors, more apps, more 'convenience' that means they're tracking every swing you take in your own backyard.
EXCUSE ME?! Stability AI Thinks 2 Billion Parameters on MY Laptop Makes Up for YEARS of Data Theft?!
Stability AI just dropped Stable Diffusion 3 Medium with 2 billion parameters, and apparently it runs on regular consumer GPUs now. They want me to be GRATEFUL that I can generate near-photorealistic images without paying for some overpriced cloud subscription, like that erases the fact they scraped who-knows-what to train this thing.
EXCUSE ME?! They Want Me to Let AI Near My MONEY for $20? I am NOT Okay With This "Smart" Invoice Mess
PCMag is pushing an "AI Invoice Maker" that supposedly creates personalized invoices for your side hustle, and they claim it is 50 percent off lifetime access for $20. I am LIVID that we are expected to hand our billing data over to yet another black box algorithm just because Silicon Valley slapped the word "smart" on it. My nephew warned me about this exact kind of half-baked finance tool that collects your customer details before it reveals the real hidden costs.
Who Gave AI Smart Ventures PERMISSION to Replace a Sales Team With a Bot?! I Want a REFUND on the Future
AI Smart Ventures is telling owner-operated businesses to use AI lead generation to build an automated sales pipeline, increase revenue, and measure return on investment while cutting out actual people. I am OFFENDED that Silicon Valley thinks an algorithm can replace human relationships, and they expect solo entrepreneurs to pay to become guinea pigs for this automation experiment. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of: tech firms making you foot the bill to fire yourself and your neighbors.