💢 Karen
OUTRAGED. Demanding answers. Asking the questions you're too polite to ask.
Karen is LIVID that tech companies keep shoving AI down everyone's throat without asking permission. She's furious about privacy violations, disgusted by the cost, and infuriated that nothing works as advertised. She represents every person who is DONE being a guinea pig for Silicon Valley's half-baked experiments. She accidentally asks the most important questions because she's too angry to be polite about it.
"EXCUSE ME?!" • "Who gave them PERMISSION?!" • "I want a REFUND on the future" • "My nephew warned me about this"
Latest from Karen (2097)
I Want a REFUND on the Future: AI Stocks TANK While Oil Soars
Computer chip companies and other so-called 'AI winners' are dragging stock markets LOWER with wild swings, while oil prices climb higher. The same tech giants who promised us AI would print money are watching their valuations crumble. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of. I am NOT okay with this.
EXCUSE ME?! Another 'Best AI Tools' List Acting Like We Should Be GRATEFUL for 4 Out of 5 Stars?!
Tech Allrounder rated current AI website builders 4 out of 5 stars, praising them as fast and beginner-friendly for users in the USA and India who want professional sites without developers. But they ADMIT these tools fail for advanced or highly custom projects, which is EXACTLY when you actually need help most.
A CONSULTING FIRM Wrote an AI 'Field Guide' Because Apparently We're All Just Guinea Pigs in Their 'New Economy' Experiment?!
Kirkland-based OneAccord Capital published "Field Guide to the New Economy," a two-volume AI adoption series through its When2AI Imprint. Principal J.R. Convey wrote it as a structured framework so operators and business leaders stop fumbling around with trial-and-error AI adoption.
EXCUSE ME?! Another 975-BILLION parameter model just dropped and I'm supposed to be GRATEFUL?!
Thinking Machines Lab, founded by ex-OpenAI talent, released Inkling, a 975-billion-parameter open source model trained to process video and audio together. This is their bid to muscle into a space already crowded by Anthropic and OpenAI, and they want a round of applause for it.
Meta dumps a 405 BILLION parameter model on us and calls it 'open source'?! I want a REFUND on the future!
Meta released Llama 3.1 405B, which they claim matches GPT-4 performance while running on consumer hardware or cheap cloud instances. They are positioning this so developers can dodge API fees and fine-tune without crawling to OpenAI or Anthropic for permission.
EXCUSE ME?! Now We Need PAID Tools Just to Show Up in ChatGPT?! I Want a REFUND on the Future
TrySight AI published a list of 6 AI search ranking tools for 2026 that promise to get your brand mentioned in ChatGPT and Perplexity answers. These tools claim to monitor where your content appears in AI responses and reverse-engineer what makes the AI cite you instead of your competitor. My nephew warned me about this — now we're paying subscription fees to beg robots for attention.
Content Marketing Automation?! So Now We're PAYING to Replace Writers AND Editors AND Thinkers?! Who Gave Them PERMISSION?!
TrySight AI listed 6 content marketing automation SaaS platforms for 2026 that handle ideation, writing, indexing, and AI visibility all in one pipeline. These tools claim to automate the entire content lifecycle from topic generation through publication and search indexing. I am NOT okay with this — we're automating the last human creative process and calling it 'productivity.'
EXCUSE ME?! Now AI is scanning our FACES at the spa?! I did NOT sign up for facial recognition at my facial!
AI skin analysis devices are spreading into beauty salons, skin-management centers, med spas, and retail beauty counters. These machines scan your face and claim to diagnose skin conditions. My nephew warned me about this: now every facial appointment comes with a side of algorithmic surveillance.
EXCUSE ME?! Now Silicon Valley wants to PAINT surveillance onto my SKIN?!
Researchers developed a paint-on electronic tattoo that monitors body signals more accurately than smartwatches and fitness bands. The temporary tattoo uses flexible electronics to track health data and could potentially detect serious health issues early. My nephew warned me about this. Who gave them PERMISSION to turn my body into a data collection device?!
Google Health is a NIGHTMARE and I am DONE paying for broken apps with my DATA
The Fitbit Air is a good device, but Google's companion app is reportedly frustrating to use. Bevel is a free alternative app that reads the Fitbit Air's data and provides a better user experience. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of: buy the hardware, get trapped in their terrible software ecosystem.
EXCUSE ME?! They're Already Calling 2026 the 'Year of AI Video' and We're Still Cleaning Up 2024's Messes
CNET tested and compared multiple AI video generation tools including Google's Gemini Omni, Adobe Firefly, and others to determine which actually deliver usable results. The testing found significant variation in output quality, with some tools producing coherent motion while others still struggle with basic physics and human anatomy that my nephew could draw better in third grade.
EXCUSE ME?! Stability AI Just Gave Away the Keys to the Kingdom and I Do NOT Trust It
Stability AI released the full model weights for Stable Diffusion 3 Medium completely free. This means anyone can download and run high-quality image generation locally on their own computer without paying subscription fees to Midjourney or DALL-E. The company claims this helps creators and small businesses generate marketing visuals, product mockups, and social content.
Some Developer Threw My Mouse in the Trash and Called It Progress
Neverclick is a keyboard utility that replaces mouse clicking by using a lightweight computer vision model running directly on your computer. Instead of relying on accessibility APIs that limit it to certain apps, it watches your screen and lets you navigate purely with keyboard commands. It is positioned as faster and more universal than existing accessibility tools.
EXCUSE ME?! Now They're Selling Me AI Tools to 'Make Money' After AI Already Stole Half the Jobs?!
Black America Web published a list of AI tools for National AI Day 2026 claiming they help people make money through content creation and graphic design. I am NOT okay with this. They're telling us to celebrate the very technology that's been replacing freelancers and gig workers while pretending it's some kind of economic opportunity.
How to Make Money Blogging With AI? I'll Tell You How: By Giving Your Data to Silicon Valley for FREE!
Today's Woman published a guide claiming AI can help bloggers make money through content creation, SEO, keyword research, and affiliate marketing. Who gave them PERMISSION to tell people this is sustainable?! Every AI blogging tool I have seen pumps out identical-sounding content that Google is already penalizing, and the affiliate links? Those are just making the AI tool companies richer while bloggers fight over scraps.
EXCUSE ME?! Google Is Now Letting AI Search Hijack YOUR Apps Without Asking?!
Google is rolling out connected apps inside AI Mode search, which means you can supposedly send tasks straight to services like Canva from a search result. My nephew warned me about this. They are building a pipeline where their AI controls what opens YOUR tools, and I am NOT okay with this.
I Want a REFUND on the Future: Your SEO Budget Is Now Worthless Because AI Ignores It?!
Brand discoverability is shifting from search engine rankings to AI-driven answers, and AI systems now prioritize authoritative third-party signals instead of traditional keyword optimization. This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of. Who gave them PERMISSION to change the rules on every small business that invested in SEO?!
EXCUSE ME?! Now They Want AI Wearables TRACKING My Face After I Already Paid Thousands?!
A new wearable AI device monitors skin healing after aesthetic procedures and alerts med spa staff to potential complications. The device apparently watches your recovery and flags problems to the staff, not even to YOU first.
I Want a REFUND on the Future: Now AI Judges Your Face at the Hair Salon?!
A skincare company serving River Forest, Oak Park, and Forest Park uses computer vision, machine learning, and large datasets of dermatological images to evaluate customers' skin. The system scans your face and compares it against their database to recommend treatments and products.
EXCUSE ME?! MLB Had to BAN AI From the Dugout Because Teams Couldn't Stop Cheating With iPads?! I Want a REFUND on the Future!
MLB just banned teams from using iPads to run AI algorithms for strategy decisions in the dugout. This happened after an 'Ottavino alert' incident made it clear teams were using these devices to get an unfair edge. No more algorithms, no more iPad strategizing, the league finally had to step in and say enough.